I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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