you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
