Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
