Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
