On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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