You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
