I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
