Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
