Don't you send me to vm
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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