Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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