Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
