I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
