I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
