Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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