A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
