Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
