Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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