Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
