So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
