The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
