where am i from again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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