Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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