but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
please don't ironically join a cult
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
