so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
