When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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