Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
