just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
