Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
