ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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