Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Someone shit on the floor
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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