Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
