we're blogging at a bar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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