im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
