Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
