I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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