doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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