I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
