I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
