is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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