awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
