The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
