I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drunk is not a location!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
