I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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