Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
