I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
