Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
