What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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