Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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