Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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