Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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